I’d imagine that anybody who goes through the effort of working the twelve steps and actually admits to being an alcoholic- they did so for a specific reason. Let’s face the facts here, nobody really just up and does such without recognizing a need for it. Most of us used as a coping mechanism and lived unhappy lives during our use. The stories I hear mixed in a nasty concoction with my own experience, and boom- right there you have the perfect recipe for disastrous misery. Putting up with this for a bit of time and we start to realize that living such a problematic and toilsome life is taking us nowhere. So you take a hike to the beginning of the beginning and we drop all the chemicals and alcoholic beverages. We plan to make things better and follow direction. We’re told that if we follow this pathway, we’ll stay clean and gain a life beyond our wildest dreams. That’s what “they” say at least. Then it happens. All this effort is dished forward, we make it to the other side, but for some of us, the grass is still damp and brown. The Charlie Brown rain cloud followed us even into sobriety and we end up keeping our head down as we waltz right out the rooms and begin getting high again. This is the phenomenon of self-sabotage. Deep down, we realize there was a large part of us that truly wanted to get sober, but there was that other part of us that still glorified all the wonderful times we had on X, Y, and Z. There was that small part of us that had reservations almost in a subconscious manner. There was just that small part of us that still had to hit rock bottom. Just a tiny part, but that’s all it takes to pick up the bottle.
When You’ve Had It up To Here
When addiction and alcoholism consistently have picked us up on their golden chariot, kicked us out while in motion, and dragged our bodies behind the vessel- why is it that we still continue to give this illness a chance? Why is it that we constantly justify everything negative that this dreaded disease has brought into our lives? As addicts and alcoholics, we look to the substance to fill this hole inside of us because something is missing. Strangely enough, the only thing the drugs have done is made us even emptier than before. Kind of paradoxical if you stop to think about it. Whole or not, we begin looking at this disease as a friend almost in a sense. The sickness of it wants us to remember all the wonderful highs and drunken nights that we had a ton of fun. The sick part is that mentally, addiction/alcoholism wants us to forget about all the nights we cried ourselves to sleep. All the days where suicide was on the very front burner of your brain and the bottle or the needle were helping to deliver the madness that was life. We reach what some might consider a rock bottom, only to realize that it can always get worse. Eventually, death is the end product if we keep at the rate our minds tell us to.
For some, hitting that lowest point in life and realizing you cannot go any lower but death- that is a humbling moment right there. To finally achieve the comprehension that you have ridden this horse to the end of the cliff and there is either the option to turn around or make the leap off the edge. Hitting this specific mindset it what truly drops people to their knees. This is when the mental turn around begins and we recognize that we never want to be in this position in life again. To admit one is an addict or alcoholic is the easy part. To accept it and realize there is no other direction this thing can take you- that is where the revelations begin. Everything is at the worst it can get and you are at your lowest of lows. This, for myself and many, this is what it takes to commit to sobriety.
It’s unfortunate how our alcoholic thinking just takes over like it does, and for some, it goes on for years and years into decades and decades. Some addicts and alcoholics never find a solution to the problem and end up enduring the torment that chemical dependency brings. To admit out loud that you have run all other options into the ground and the desperation takes you to a new level of willingness while giving a new meaning to the term rock bottom. However, there is a solution and not all addicts and alcoholics are doomed to wander the earth in an uncomfortable stupor. A bit short of a hundred years ago, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous was created by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. They too were individuals who dealt with the grips of alcoholism and were doing everything they could find to let loose of the bottle. It was upon this founding of A.A. that the 12 steps were created, as well as the building of a fellowship around the world that has saved countless thousands and thousands of addicts and alcoholics struggling with the phenomenon of craving. Bill and Bob were at a point where there was no other direction. They were at their bottoms and it was those bottoms that inspired the anonymous programs we are so fond of today. As with any relationship to anyone or anything, there is always a tipping point. Sometimes that point is what we need to open our eyes in the end.
End of the Line
Life likes to sneak up on people but addiction and alcoholism grab you up by the ankles and flip your whole world upside down. It gets old quick- but there are alternatives to being chemically dependent. If you or a loved one has been struggling with getting a firm grasp on sobriety and need treatment, please call1-800-481-8457 or visit www.ohioarc.com. Our teams of specialists are waiting by to help figure out what options are best for sending your life in a comfortable direction that you can proudly stand behind.